Thermostat

I like it freezing, he said
I nodded too quickly
the kind of too-fast yes
that means I’m not okay
Then I turned
fleeing to plastic buttons
and artificial cold
like it could chill the heat between us

I didn’t hear him move
but suddenly
he was behind me
his arms wrapping around me
startling and soft
intentional and quiet

My breath caught
butterflies lifted
not the sweet kind
the kind that come
when you're too high
too exposed
when surrender feels like falling

I bent forward
out of reflex
out of nervousness
out of wanting
But he didn’t follow that path

He turned me around
gently
read the tremble in me like scripture
and whispered
sometimes you just need a hug

And I did
So I let go

I surrendered
into his long arms
the ones I remembered from high school
the ones that still felt like home

I thought
the universe finally got it right
home
or did it
I didn’t know
but I wanted to stay
right there
for as long as it let me

I pressed my ear against his chest
listening
to the rhythm of his life
proof that I was real
that he was too
that something rare was happening

We slow danced
to love playing in the background
and I wished
silently
that it would last forever

I had never danced like that before
not in that way
not with that kind of ache
but I didn’t pull away
and I loved every second
though I knew it wouldn’t last

So we stood
by a thermostat
pretending to change the air
but really
he was calming the storm inside me

And I knew then
he wasn’t trying to take me
He was trying to hold me
together

It was surreal
a moment I will never forget

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