When I Come Back

I saw you before I was ready to feel

You were brightness with a memory

a warmth I somehow already missed

before I even touched it

You stood like a sunrise I wasn’t allowed to stare into

so I blinked

looked away

called it timing

called it life

called it anything but what it was

You were loud without speaking

louder than I could admit

I wanted you

but freedom kept checking my pockets

kept whispering that to hold you

was to lose myself

But that’s the lie they taught us

That love takes away

when really you were the one place I didn’t have to pretend

Didn’t have to lead

Didn’t have to win

You fixed things with your hands

You made your own heat

You never asked me for more

but I felt you hoping I would give it anyway

I watched you walk away without turning around

and it hurt more than any goodbye

Because deep down I knew

you never closed the door

You just waited for me to come home different

If I come back

don’t ask what changed

Just know it’s me

but finally whole

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