White Castle

I passed the castle today

white stone trimmed in black Orlov

a yard of emerald so lush

it nearly sang

It gleamed like a dream fulfilled

but dreams can lie

Behind its polished gates

there is chaos

a silent war

turmoil wrapped in gold-leaf curtains

It is missing peace

I have never had a kingdom of my own

not truly

I was born in a dungeon

watched over by guards

who meant well

but still kept the keys

Love came with locks

Joy had curfews

My dreams grew in shadows

When I was finally released

I wandered

only to be caught by dragons

not fire-breathers

but word-burners

A dragon who wore a crown of control

who said I was lucky to be beneath it

The dragon did not laugh at fairy tales

It crushed them

Said no one is coming

Said stories like mine do not exist

And for a while

I believed it

I mistook chains for commitment

prison walls for partnership

But even in the dungeon

my magic stirred

Even gagged

my spirit sang

And when I finally broke free

scorched

bleeding

barefoot and unrecognizable

I wandered again

homeless

uncrowned

but alive

That is when the wizard appeared

He did not promise rescue

He whispered alignment

He said you will know the palace when you feel it

And then I found it

a castle

his castle

the one I’d dreamed in dirt

white stone, black Orlov

emerald green like the garden I once built

It looked just like the one I used to dream about

when I would kneel for hours in dirt and weeds

making beauty with bare hands

hoping the dragon would come help

But it never did

It watched from the shadows

as I built hope in flowerbeds

And now

here was the vision made real

but not for me

I knew it

I knew it

before the flags

before the throne

before he built it with her

I was there in the prophecy

when he was just a wandering prince

lost like me

full of fire and fear

We saw each other in the dark

We recognized the royalty in ruin

But when I passed the gates today

I was not welcomed

The story had already been written

and I was not the chosen queen

not in this chapter

She wears the crown now

and though I do not begrudge her

I ache

because I once handed him the map to his own soul

and now she lives in the palace built on it

Still

behind those beautiful walls

I feel the unrest

because I am the peace

that never made it through the gate

And here I am

on tired roads

little heirs trailing behind me

fast asleep in the carriage

as I chase coins and clarity

But this time

I will not ask to be let in

I will not knock at gates

that do not open for me

I will find my own land

I will build a sanctuary

where dragons cannot enter

where little girls are not raised in cages

starting with a black dungeon carved in shadow

breathed like a chapel

where magic is not mocked

but honored

And when I rise

not rescued

but returned to myself

I will be more than queen

I will be legend

The white castle was not mine

but the crown always was

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